We are brought up conditioned by society and our surroundings, encouraged to care about everything. Indocrinated to believe that by not caring we are somehow an anarchist, intent on ruining World order, obtuse to the reality of the world and well on the way to being the devil incarnate... if you believe in that kind of thing. Very much unlike a cat, This causes us to be pulled in countless directions, and to lose focus on the things that truly matter.... life, and living it. In a cats case food, warmth and fuss - on request.
In all honesty, I struggle with this conditioning thing... have done my whole life and I still need constant reminders. My struggle is that I have an opinion... and containing that sometimes causes issues for me. I have the choice to a) say nothing and let things bubble along to a boring, logical yet uninspired conclusion or b) say something to disrupt and give my opinion in the belief that this will end much better....
So, given these 2 choices, invariably, I let it all out, in a blunt yet strangely calm manner - and really cause an almighty f**k up.
To stop giving that proverbial damn about irrelevant things, means freeing up your mind, and allowing peace and tranquility to flourish in your life. We can’t expect ourselves to let all things go at once. Just take it day by day, moment by moment and one annoying thing at a time.
Whenever something irritating forces itself upon me, I ask myself: “Is this relevant?”. So, with this blog piece, I aim to bring calmness, focus and simplicity, and with it the ability to decipher what is "relevant". I do have to warn you though, I didn’t hold back, and some of the language might be a bit tasty.
So.... Heres the first instruction - Stop giving a f**k about the following 10 things, pussies.
1. Political Warmongering
“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.” — Groucho Marx
Politics by itself will never improve your life, instead it will invoke constant complaining. It will in all probability, end with you giving away your patience, losing a sense of control and with that the moral high ground. It can without exception cause useless arguments with friends, family, estranged friendlies and permenant dickheads alike (particularly on social media) - because, as a subject matter, it forces you to take sides you don’t even want to be a part of.
So, let it go. Fuck Brexit, arseholes to the loony labour party and bollocks to Dominic Cummings and his jolly to Durham. Life is too short for bollocks...
2. Social Movement / Sexual Orientation
I know I might get some heat from saying this, but I’m going to say it anyway.
Most of the social movements begin with a viable concept, but often turn into a destructive entity that causes feelings getting hurt, people becoming repressed, and mental wars being held. Not to demean the concepts, but if your life holds nothing more important, then really you need to get yourself a life. In fact, you need to get yourself your life, and enjoy it yourself.
I’m sorry to say, but I’m not a capitalist, racist, feminist, socialist, atheist, fascist, purist, fat-shamist, ageist and whatever else “-ist” they keep coming up with these days. No, I’m simply a man with my opinion, trying to help people with my writing, without hurting others in the process. You are not obligated to follow the mob if you don’t share the same core values and beliefs.... and you don’t owe them your life.
Be yourself, sleep well at night...
When somebody slings an insult your way, you feel hurt right ? Well what i say is, when someone insults you, hit back and question their competence or their intelligence.
Would you completely trade places with this person? If the answer is no, then why would you give a rats cock what the half wit says or thinks?
When people complain, criticise or ridicule another, most often they are jealous of that person having something that they don’t, something they really want.
Through the eyes of a negative person, you can see yourself in a spectacular way. Every negative thing they think about you is the complete opposite, and it’s because they wish they had that very thing you possess...
Don’t let anger torment you. If you don’t feel harmed, you won’t be harmed. Instead, keep improving your skills and pushing the envelope. Keep increasing the distance between you and those repressed people. Let them rot in their own petty weaknesses.
4. What Other People Think, Say And Do
Know what matters to you, and do the uncomfortable things that will move you in the direction you want to go. Ruthlessly say no to everything irrelevant. Always right before you do something contravertial, people will say that you can’t do it. Ignore them. Even if you crash and burn, you will do so on your terms. It doesn’t matter what they say and do, only what you do. Do what’s right for you and the people you value.
Be selective in who you listen to. And even then, don’t follow advice blindly.
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” — Marcus Aurelius
If you listen too much to other people, their opinion becomes your opinion, their behaviours become your behaviours, their fears become your fears, their habits become your habits, and their limits become your limits.... I learnt this from a particularly bad boss, who had been promoted to incompetence by weak leadership - you know the kind, railroad you with their insecurity and force feed you their ego, expect you to sit and take a personal barrage of insults, because thats the limit of their intelligence envelope.
Well sorry pal, you are an obnoxious twat, and somebody had to tell you.
5. Idiotic Arguments About Sports, Music, And Films
Q: Who would win in a fist fight, Darth Vader or Han Solo ? A: who gives a f**k...
You like what you like and you like who you like. Your choice in sports team, movies or music will drastically differ from the next person... Respect that everyone else has the right to an opinion... but know this; without a light sabre and special powers, Darth is a man with a penchant for fancy dress, where as Han is a rugged mans man. Han wins a fist fight outside the Red Lion... end of. Oh also, Rugby is better than football, Football is for lightweights; Green is the best colour and 3 the luckiest number... The end.
6. The Daily News
Stop consuming endless amounts of crap that doesn’t do anything for you, or concern you, or motivate you.
The media companies need ratings, therefore they will major mostly on the ugly, shocking things of the world in order to hook you to their channel. We seem to be living in a World where media companies are writing the news rather than reporting the news - opinion has become more important than real hard fact. The amount of time you spend watching the news should be reserved for better things. If you really want to be updated about world affairs, use social media, everybody is a fucking expert on those platforms... or not.
No, seriously, if you want to be kept informed, inform yourself, arm yourself with facts and form your opinion from there.
7. Permission And Approval
Waiting for permission literally means putting your life in someone else’s hands. Why would you ever do that? You give yourself permission, even if nobody approves. Approval means nothing. Stop putting your future on hold by letting external forces hold you back.
Be pro-active, take full responsibility, and pursue your personal legend. Figure out what you want to do with your life.
It’s better to look back on life and say “Wow, I can’t believe I actually did that” instead of “I wish I had done that”. Regret is a life killer. You alone are qualified to determine your potential. If I only did things I was “qualified” to do, I’d be pushing a mop around somewhere.
In fact, in my line of work, I am always being asked to do things I dont feel qualified for - like being nice to f**king twats - and I am always trying to achieve the impossible, like dieting.
As for diets, just don’t do it. Diets are temporary. I would rather focus on leading a simple, but healthy lifestyle. You know what to eat frequently, and what to treat yourself with sparingly. You know what is good for you, come on.... for example, I know that fruit is a healthy tasty snacking option - but its just not as tasty, naughty or interesting as Haribo.
8. The Past
Whatever happened in school doesn’t matter anymore. That person who cheated on you doesn’t matter anymore. If you used to drink too much alcohol (like I did), it doesn’t matter anymore if you are now improving on that.
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present"
I know that some things are hard to let go. I respect this and I relate to it. Most of my younger years I was always in fear of being bullied, and it left a mark on me for a long time.
At some point I said “enough!”, and that point came after me and my best friend were attacked in a local Rotherham park, by a pair of scabies ridden thugs. We ended up in juvenile court testifying against them. I look back now and I think, if I had the confidence then, I have learnt now - that would have been settled by 2 kicks in the bollocks and a punch on the hooter....
The best way to let something go is to realise that, whatever happened, doesn’t have to control you anymore. Take the first step in the right direction, find wisdom that can guide you, and decide to take control. You can do it. Yes, you can.
9. Neg Ferrets
"Warriors of doom, with a problem for every solution. A neg ferret will predict 10 out of 2 disasters, and light up a room the moment they walk out" - Polar Bear Pirates by Adrian Webster
People that doubt, hurt and disrespect you, they aren’t worth your time and attention. Those who bring negative energy into your life will only make it harder for you to feel happy and get things done. Get rid of them, because holding on to the wrong relationships will make you more miserable than just about anything else.
Surround yourself with people who love you and bring out the best in you.
Don’t settle for mediocre relationships. Find those who share your interests and who love the same things you love. There is no shortage of incredible humans in the world. Adopt an abundance mindset, and go find your squad.
With that in mind, I must give kudos to those who are not my blood, but are on my wavelength - so shout out to these legends: Lainey, Buck, O'Shea, Big Cliff, Cramps, Gayle-a-m and also the cat. All of which know how to give zero f**ks when required.
10. Conform or Die
Like a scene out of 'They Live'. You are not obligated to follow the in crowd if you don’t share the same core values and beliefs. You can be a 'meaningful specific' instead of a 'wandering common'.
Furthermore, other people aren’t going to live with the consequences of the choices you make. So why would you sacrifice your life for their definition of the way things should be?
Most people aren’t healthy, fit, fulfilled, happy, rested, focused, or excited about their own life. This is why I almost never take advice from anyone about how to lead mine... my Mum and Dad did a grand job thank you very much.
Why must I value what others value, why avoid what others avoid? Crazy talk! F**k what the majority thinks is “normal”. Stop trying to be someone you’re not just to “fit in”. The pressure to conform is amplified by your own insecurities.... the conformity self imposed in your psyche.
In fact lets try a little test... This is a few things that the majority of is doing. You tell me if you want to be a part of it:
Falling in debt for property
Settling with unfulfilling, mind killing jobs
Getting fatter, but then actually justifying it
Normalising the frequent consumption of any sort of drugs
Postponing their happiness by saving all of their money in order to be able to do cool “stuff” when they are old — wasting their healthiest years in the process
injecting steroids and botox in their bodies to look better for people that don't care
Bullying, denigrating, fighting, lying, judging, hating and manipulating on social media
If you could rewrite that list in its entire opposite form... would you want to be part if it then ? Well let's give it a go:
Settled and happy
Chasing your dream
Respecting your physical self
Living a life that doesnt need enhancing with a lie
Live for today, plan for tomorrow, party tonight
Be comfortable in front if a mirror
Be a nice person. Always.
How to make the correct decision
The people who get what they want out of life are the ones who remain steadfast in getting it. They are unapologetic and take what they need - .it doesn't make them selfish, it makes them honest. They avoid the everyday, do the extraordinary and go the extra mile.
They are extra special.
Like a cat.